Submit Your
Own Plague

We all know the Ten Plagues. They were awful. But what about the plagues that never quite made it? You know, the ones that were super annoying, but not annoying enough to “make the cut”.

Here are some B-Side Plagues. Can you add to this list?

  • General Drowsiness

  • Chafing 

  • Cows who stare creepily at you as if you’ve done something wrong when you haven’t.

  • You have to look for your keys for 25 minutes every time.

  • You can’t find the word: all words are at the tip of your tongue, always.  

  • Every argument you have ends with: “it is what it is” or “agree to disagree”.

  • You’re always just a little bit sticky.  

  • That weird part of being high when you don’t want to be high anymore.

  • There’s a vicious rumor about you, but you don’t know what it is, and everyone else knows, and they just chuckle and look at you, forever.  

  • You’re always orgasming.  You are constantly in an orgasm.

  • All food is seitan.  

  • Every song that you ever listen to can be described as “a little country and little rock and roll”.

  • There’s a song stuck in your head but you can never figure it out.  

  • Eternal pins and needles.  

  • For every single book you read, or movie you watch: someone spoils the ending.

  • No more shopping carts.  Ever.  

  • There’s always a layover. 

  • All food is airplane food.

 

Submit Your Own
B-Side Plague

Submit your B-Side Plague here! Or post it and tag us @SaturdayNightSeder. You might even get a repost!